From the Desk of Dr Evil

 

Re: Hump or Dump

 

Gentlemen,

It has come to my attention that several of you have decided to adopt the Hump or Dump policy. This is and of itself is an acceptable business practice. However I need to remind you that we have a social obligation to train these little bimbos to become the sort of women We want, not just to scrape them off our boots for a possible feminist uprising. Need I remind you what happenned in the 20th century?

I agree that zitface is a little dumber than normal, but she is just like any other woman in this day and age, a child, and as such needs guidance from a firm hand. If we dumped every girl that pissed us off into the streets there would be social chaos. I urge you to see the big picture. No woman should be chucked except for attitude, be patient with the little ones, We have an obligation to mold them into compliant little citizens.

 

Dr. I. M. Evil

Senior Vice President, Plans and Policy

Cain Consulting INC

RESPONDING TO DR. EVIL:

Dr. Evil,

I agree that it is our social responsibility to do all we can to transform every woman into a happy and well-adjusted part of the new social order. But honestly, what do we accomplish if we do that by compromising the most basic principles of that order? This girl is clearly not making herself presentable, and according to the file she went hysterical when asked to perform one of her most important duties in the new order - lesbian lovemaking for male amusement.

I'm not saying we should give up on her and leave her unsupervised so she can become twisted and resentful. Perish the thought! But neither should we do her (and ourselves) the disservice of expecting her to perform at a level she clearly cannot achieve.

Although the new order functions primarily in the workplace, with the home acting as a sort of extended workplace (it's certainly a workplace for her!), the workplace is not the only place a girl can learn her duties in the new order. In short, this girl belongs in a Social Adjustment Center or similar facility. I recommend her name be forwarded to the appropriate authorities without delay.

Aporia